I Am a Birthday Grinch.

I have a confession.

I hate birthdays. Mostly mine. I’m not even completely sure why. I just know that I hate this idea that on the day that you happened to be born, however many years ago, everyone is supposed to make a big deal about it. Every year. For the rest of your life. Maybe I’d be all in for an every-5-year kind of deal, who knows... Anyways — today’s my birthday and I woke up this morning determined to have a different outlook on the day.

My apprentice’s model for the day canceled and my calendar looked clear, so it seemed I had an unexpected, much needed, day off. On my birthday! 🥳 I would get up, have some coffee, smoke a bowl, and listen to some music while I finish my time-sensitive editing... then maybe I would take a drive, eat some pizza, go for a walk, possibly get a mani/pedi, and just enjoy a quiet day before seeing my sister and nieces tonight, and a nice dinner out with my lovely boyfriend. What a beautiful day it will be.

Well, that ain’t how it went down. It’s now 1:00, and I’m determined to turn this day around for the better, but first, lemme tell you a little story about how I ended up sitting on the living room floor, crying 3 times before noon.

This morning I woke up feeling rested, fed the dog, made some coffee, answered some texts, packed up a bowl, and got ready to sit down for an undisturbed hour and half of chill jams and editing.

I just wanted to sit next to my girl June, so I joined her on the comfiest couch in the house, but her rude ass got up and left the room. Cry #1 (Anyone else cry because their dog won’t spend time with them? Please tell me I’m not the only one).

Once I pulled myself together from that diss, I sat down again (smoked that bowl) and started to get to work. That’s when I got the text that led me down a rabbit hole of ultimately finding out that the photo prints I ordered last week would not be arriving in time for our After Hours on Saturday. I did some scrambling, round 2 crying, and made a new plan. Swerve.

For the 2nd time before noon today, I pulled myself together and sat down to work on my editing. Annnd then it hit me that I should never trust that I have “free time”. I got a text from the salon. Looks like the new stylist I just hired has arrived to do paperwork, and not only am I not there, but I haven’t prepared anything (how that didn’t make it onto my calendar, I’ll never know). 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ Cry #3 is the kind where I laugh until I cry, because I can’t believe how far left this day has gone.

So here I sit, in the bathroom, looking at my tear swollen eyes in the mirror right before I wash my dumb face, put on my warpaint, and live up to my potential today. I still have photos that MUST get edited, and now I have to enact a new plan for my prints, and I’m completely out of time to do it all. I refuse to let these blunders ruin my entire day and the efforts of the people who care about me, but like, damn... I need a break.

To me, birthdays feel like a whole lotta expectation and hoopla, but the world doesn’t stop and the work doesn’t pause just because “it’s my special day”, and the false sense of expectation that I give myself every year that it might just bums me out.

Bah humbug, I guess.

Off to change my attitude. Stay tuned for part two... I’m gonna turn this around, I just know it.

... Part two

Totally got better.

I got dolled up and my man took me out to dinner at one of my faaaaavorite Kitsap restaurants — Burrata Bistro in Poulsbo. We ate all the things and laughed and chatted. He and I had such a great night.

The following day is when things took a real turn. The second Thursday of each month is team meeting day for us at Maxwell Salon, and I had lotsa work to do, so I headed into the salon early. Early is not something I’m known for, so my team was pretty surprised to see me. They were setting up a surprise party! 😌🥳 Love them.

By the end of the meeting while we were munchin on party snacks, my prints showed up! How they made it, I’ll never know, but I do know that I’m only slightly irritated that I was so pissed about something that didn’t end up being reality, and mostly elated that Maxwell’s Art After Hours went off without a hitch without having to resort to plan B 🙌🏻.

I finished out the day by photographing an oiled up fireman's muscles, and then went home to spend the next several hours finishing up that time-sensitive editing (I don’t miss deadlines, which on this particular day meant that I worked 20 hours, slept for 3.5, then worked another 9.5 — my struggle with work/life balance is a topic for another day 🙃).

Truly running on caffeine and dry shampoo in every sense of the phrase. If I’m gonna be a mess, I might as well be a hot one.

I’m still figuring it all out.

Until next time.

— ✌🏻❤️🍕