Speaking Freely

Jul 12

2017 was a really difficult year, and so far 2018 has been pretty tough too, but I’m working hard to turn that around.

Here’s the thing: 2017 slapped the shit out of me. It was hard not only emotionally, but financially too. I won’t bore you with all the details, but what it essentially boils down to is: battles... with so many people. I made probably the toughest decision of my life: to get divorced from a person that I care deeply about. I had to sever ties with some really toxic employees, I moved 3 times, lost my dogs (then got one of them back), and I’ve been getting nothing but a bad time from the salon’s property management company... (I could go on, but honestly, it’s depressing and you get the idea). All of that, plus the normal goings-on of life pretty much added up to a state of constant stress for me.

I love doing hair. I’ll always love doing hair, and I’ll probably never stop so long as I’m physically able. But... if I’m being transparent here (and you know I always am 😏), I’ve been essentially working for free for the past year and it hit me hard, not just financially.

Let me fill you in on a little sequence of events here to catch ya up if you’re just joining this shit-show: 2016 was full of toxic people who made life incredibly difficult. It didn’t all come to a boiling point until Spring 2017 when I was forced to terminate a person who was not only a significant income producer for the salon, but someone who had previously been (or so I thought) a trusted friend. As you can imagine, that drama took a toll both emotionally and financially. Things got really tough, but I always put my business and my employees first, which means that if there’s no money left after all the bills, taxes, and employees are paid, I don’t get paid. That went on for about a year. Some other employees decided to jump ship, making it even harder to recover.

Fast forward to now, things are great and moving toward full recovery for the salon. We have a superstar team of people with great attitudes and talent, but for me on a personal level, I’m still recovering in so many ways.

Recently, I decided to take on a part-time position as a server. (Just part-time! Don’t panic, I’m not quitting hair.) I know it will be some hateful people’s first instinct to judge me and assume that it’s because I’m not doing well as a stylist. Dead wrong folks. (BTW, if you hate me and you’re still reading this blog, move on with your life already.)

In reality, I need a change of scenery. I need to go do a job where everything and everyone is not my sole responsibility, and, yes, a little extra cash will not hurt my situation. But life isn’t, and never has been, about money for me. I could easily take on more days and clients at the salon, but my heart needs a break. I have big dreams and goals personally and professionally that can only be achieved by way of cashflow.

But continuing as I have been is not what I need right now. I need a reset. I am slowly rebuilding my life, and as weird as it sounds... waiting tables is my roots. It’s where I started, and doing those jobs helped shape me as a person, and taught me valuable lessons about people and life.

Since I opened my salon in 2012, my life has primarily been about other people, and it wasn’t good for me. Consistently putting myself last became very damaging. I absolutely love making people feel beautiful, it really is my passion, but I think that I’ve been doing it for so long that the appreciation factor has worn off. I rarely get the satisfaction of knowing that I’ve changed someone’s day anymore. Most of my clients have been seeing me for so long that the “wow” factor has worn off, I guess, or I’ve lost my sparkle — it’s difficult to tell for sure. I just need to go be not the boss somewhere.

I used to be a badass hairstylist and I know that I still am, but too often I just feel like an unappreciated manager, constantly being barraged with all of the little problems that come up in a business. It’s normal stuff, I know that it is, but it’s an endless peppering of questions, complaints, and problems, and it’s not why I got into this business. I never wanted to be “the enforcer”. I simply wanted what I felt was lacking in our area — a beautiful, unique, environment that myself and others like me could thrive and enjoy doing what we love.

It’s time to take a baby step back, so that I can see my vision clearly again and continue to move forward with power and intention, utilizing my full potential. In the meantime, if you see me slangin’ pizzas, know that I’m living my best life, and pizza makes me super happy!

Stay tuned, in my next post I’d love to share some of the good things that have been happening lately too 😄

Questions, comments, thoughts? I’d love to hear em’... (and know if anyone actually reads this blog 😅)