Watering myself first…
About 6 weeks ago, I made a decision.
I decided to treat me like my # 1 priority, above (almost) all else for 90 days and just…see what happens.
I’m only halfway through and already I can tell you: Radical changes..that’s what happens.
Since I closed my studio last year you might think I’ve been living a more leisurely life. That’s true in some ways but what’s really been happening is what’s been pretty standard of me for my entire adult life: I’ve been grinding away, striving for the next level. In addition to working my restaurant job, I’ve been diligently building a program that I’m really, really excited about!
✨90 Days of Self-Care for Busy Women✨
Successfully creating this online version of what I do for people from behind the stylist’s chair will enable me to do the thing I’ve been working so hard to achieve for a while now.
I have a deep desire to be able to work from home (or wherever) at this phase in my life.
I need to be with my dogs in their last days, however long that might be (I can’t even think about it) 😢
By creating online options, I can do the thing I love: Sharing and empowering people through my practiced and time-developed super powers: DIY Self-Care, non toxic beauty knowledge and fierce self-belief.
I’ve been taking care of people as a beauty professional for 15 years. Building and putting myself through this program has been such a journey of self discovery and healing for me.
In the building of this program, I realized that there’s a big reason why I’ve been having difficulty ‘selling’ myself for the last few years. Which, like it or not, is essentially what you have to be able to do as an entrepreneur. It can be really hard to do when you feel like the community that used to love you has completely changed it’s attitude towards you for reasons that I still can only guess at.
My confidence has taken some hits. Such is life right? But the hits were so hard that for while…I really wondered if there was something wrong with me. The way folks had suddenly been treating me in my small community for the last few years. I’ll just be frank, it was a total mindfuck. I had some big time healing to do.
This program is based around the idea that healing starts with self-care and self-love…It’s hard to feel good or expect other folks to love or care for you if you’re not loving and caring for yourself.
Through these years of hustling, working, grinding, building, trauma, drama, financial struggles, mental health struggles…somewhere along the way I got far too comfortable denying myself the very thing I’m always telling other people to do for themselves. Self-care.
If I’m being honest…it was almost as if the way people were treating me sowed a little seed of self-doubt and my own self-neglect was actually making it grow! Something deep in my subconscious was saying that there had to be something wrong with me right? I started to believe that maybe I wasn’t worthy of love…not even from myself. Which is really weird because logically, I know that I’m a really fucking good person and people do like being around me but that little seed was growing up into a prickly, thorny bramble that threatened to swallow up my true personality if I didn’t get serious about finding the root of it.
Truly, by the time I closed my studio, I’d been neglecting my own needs in so many ways and for so long that when I started noticing it, it honestly felt so overwhelming. I’d been doing it that way for long enough that I’d just become used to being the last priority.
My hair, my home, my skin…all a mess of self-neglect and here I am trying to tell people to prioritize their self-care. It was giving…not fully authentic.
It wasn’t until I took a step back from pushing myself to build the program and sell the program that I realized, there was a kink in my hose and I knew I had to find it.
I’d been working so hard trying to learn how to properly structure my coaching so my clients will have success, do lead generation and ‘sell’ my program to the widest audience I’ve ever been able to. While I was taking all these steps towards the future I want to build, this intrusive thought kept circling around my head.
What if the grind, the pressure I put on myself and everything around me is keeping my energy in a state of lack because I’m always seeking? What if I’M the kink in the hose?
And then, another thought. What if I stopped grinding? What if I just let it be FUN for once? Would that be ok? Would I still be valid in this world if I made taking care of me my number one job for a while, instead of always prioritizing everything else while I’m striving for the next thing?
In my ‘elder millennial’ years I’m really starting to see that just letting things flow and watering my grass is the journey. That’s the life part that I’ve been missing out on because I’ve been so focused on striving and making something of myself.
I see now that I am already something, I already did the hard part. Now, maybe I just need to stop putting so much pressure on things and just be…The joy is in the journey. That’s the life part.
Grass doesn’t grow any faster by pulling does it?
I’ve been weathering the blows of life and always getting right back up because I thought that’s what would make me strong; But what if laid low for a little while? Take a beautiful little snooze in the green grass.
Would the ‘danger’ pass by? Would I be able to heal and get my feet back under me in a stable way so I could run again, maybe even fly…
When my studio closed last year 😥…I can only think of one other time in my life that I’ve been lower. This time, instead of popping right back up and declaring myself ok…I laid low for a bit.
I took some time to slow down and really feel into my heart and find out what was in there these days.
It had truly been so long since I’d even taken the time to check in with myself.
I can’t thank myself enough for making the decision to prioritize me for a minute.
Because when you think about it, in the grand scheme of life, 90 days really is such a short amount of time to invest in taking care of your constant companion in thought-You.
90 days of Self-Care for Busy Women, will change your inner voice from one of self doubt to one of self-love, self-belief, and most importantly self-empowerment.
When your well is full, you can easily water your grass AND pour lots of love into the other parts of your life that matter to you!
Let’s chat.. you bring the bathroom mirror 🪞✨
If you made it this far, I’d love it if you Schedule a complimentary Self-Care Review with me, I can’t wait to meet you and share with you 🫶🏻💛